#runningFAIL

Back in the days before technology, people ran without their Garmins or their Nike+ or even a freakin' pedometer. Those days are long gone. Who wants to run and not know their distance or see their splits?? Not this girl.

So since I've been having problems with my iPod, I decided not to use my Nike+ app and only use the stopwatch/clock app. I figured it wouldn't be an issue because I'd just use MapMyRun after to see distance and then get an average time per mile in the end. I wouldn't have splits. I'd survive.

In the spirit of not being pace obsessed, I also decided not to look down at the stopwatch even to just get an idea of where I was at. I kind of remembered where the half mile and full mile marks were, so I didn't want to cheat.

So blissfully ignorant Taylor begins her run. It's hot and I'm sweaty, but it was okay. I liked not knowing at that given moment what my pace was. It felt liberating! And I was doing a great job not looking down at the stopwatch.

I wish for once I didn't have the willpower to resist the urge to look down at my stopwatch.

I am 100% certain that I hit "start" on the stopwatch. I am also 100% certain that it did not register, because when I stopped for water, it was still at 0.00...... GREAT. After about 1.2 miles of running, I had SQUAT.

My mind went into crazy mode; I was like "Okay, well I can try and calculate how long I've been running by the number of songs that I listened to, and then subtract that from the time now. But how many seconds into the song is this now?! How many seconds have I been here, like 20?! Ohmigod can I build a time machine?!"

I decided that when I continued my run, I'd also continue not using the stopwatch (this time on purpose). But as I was running, I sorta kinda hated it. I tried to think of other things, but I couldn't wrap my mind around what I just did. I cursed myself out in my head for not doing it right the first time. I mean, how many times had I used the stopwatch before?! It wasn't rocket science! You press one button!

My mind just continued to get angry, and I stopped. I ran about 2.4 miles. What was my time? I have no idea. What was my average pace per mile? I have no idea. Did my time improve from my last run? I HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA!

I noticed that I liked not knowing my time and pace IN THE MOMENT. But not knowing it at all seemed kind of pointless to me. And I bet I'm not the only runner who feels that way.

Why can't we just "run for fun"? Do we come programed to be "pace obsessed" or do we learn it from other runners?

Side note: I changed the background on my iPad to something floral and inspiring, and it brightened my mood. I suggest changing the background on your desktop, phone, tablet, etc. to something bright and colorful! It could just change your life!